I knew the trip had been important for me, because I finally had positive God experiences. Before camping with the shamans, I had had some not-so-positive experiences – like seeing Jesus and Satan casually discussing who should get me, or being murdered while I was teaching. Continue reading


Excerpt 12, BURNOUT

…suddenly I found myself … in the heavens!

I was dancing with the stars in the heavens!

And a stream of unbidden thoughts vibrated through my skull:

“I AM a source of energy equal to their brilliance, dancing amidst the stars, at ONE with the entire universe!”

“I AM!” Continue reading


Excerpt 11, BURNOUT

What made this camping trip with Indian shamans so perfect for me was having access to Prenda’s recorded lectures about the role of peyote in this tribe and how the culture compares with mine. Continue reading


Excerpt 10, BURNOUT

Arriving at our destination near a cornfield, a nondescript place characterized by endless desert that was, thank God, graced with two wispy trees, we unloaded the truck and waved farewell to the driver, who promised to return at the end of the week.

“Does anyone else want a guarantee?” I wondered. Continue reading


Excerpt 9, BURNOUT

I had survived the worst year of my life. I had learned about self-love, without which any relationship is doomed. I had begun to see my part in creating the nightmare of the previous year… Continue reading


Excerpt 8, BURNOUT

Mimi seemed to be offering yet another perspective on the physical and emotional craziness I’d experienced during the past year, which the school counselor had labeled a “nervous breakdown” or “extreme burnout” and the psychiatrist had called a “spiritual crisis” of “dark night of the soul.” Continue reading


Excerpt 7, BURNOUT

Perhaps the greatest relief I experienced all semester was being invited to speak before a psychology class about depression and what it feels like to be at the end of your rope! That talk occurred just three days after an intended suicide: mine! Continue reading