Despite the increasing invitations to “feel bad”–and they are legion if one reads the paper or watches the news–it is still possible to “feel good,” and there is no reason whatsoever for choosing to feel bad when we have complete control over our feelings. But just like the habit of negative thinking, it requires practice.
For example, I’m learning to say “Thank you” a lot–especially for anything that appears on face value to be “something I don’t want,”–and then finding a reason I do. When the light changes to red just as I approach the intersection, I say “Thanks” for an opportunity to breathe deeply or to practice gratitude. I actually feel my gratitude instead of chanting “I’m grateful for this and for that,” because it helps me feel more joy.
Another practice is carrying a little notebook of memories that bring you instant joy. Anytime you slip from bliss, read something in the notebook and feel that joy. Practice calling up a “feel-good” on a moment’s notice by practicing all day long–especially if you get to wait in a line in the post office or grocery store. “Oh boy! Another opportunity to practice feeling good on the spot!”
What about real challenges to feeling good, like the one who “done you wrong?” Well… in that moment, it certainly doesn’t feel good. Give yourself at least five minutes to wallow or rant, whichever you prefer, then switch your attention to something that feels good. Why? Because the immutable Law of Attraction works on everything. We get more of whatever we think about most of the time. Or are you seriously wanting to attract a string of lousy relationships? Get it? Be thankful for whatever you shared, then say “adios” and let it go. Throw your shoulders back, put a smile on your face, and get ready for the next great adventure.
Here’s the thing: we cannot see everything in our future. We have only a tiny field of vision for what’s possible, of what’s coming. In this moment, it might feel like he’s the one, the only one, and that you’ll die without him, but remember that the truth is that you can’t see everything that’s out there. You don’t know who else is coming along. And you certainly don’t know what that former relationship would be like down the road.
With that break-up you are now available for an even better relationship. With that job terminated, that business gone bust, that car wrecked, this terrible accident, illness, loss of fortune…whatever, something wonderful could be coming, but you’ll be too blind to see it if you’re focusing on that thing you don’t want (that terminated job, that busted business, that illness, that financial loss). So what if you failed in one line of work? There’s another opportunity just waiting for you to discover it. Your part in the process is to release what isn’t working for you and to embrace whatever is. In short, keep your vibe up by feeling good and focusing on what pleases you, on what “feels good.” At the very least, do something to feel better now.
What if you’re bummed or angry most of the time? Or worse, have given up altogether? It’s still possible to feel better, one baby step at a time. Start by working with your body–eat the best food you can, avoid sugar (blues), do some kind of exercise every day to get the toxic sludge out of your lymph system and to release feel-good endorphins, and… breathe. Step outside for fifteen-twenty minutes a day without glasses and feed your pineal gland; you’ll even sleep better. Feeling lonely? Feel your connection with everyone on the planet simply by breathing.
Make it a game to discover things to like, to appreciate, to feel good about. Take the time to discover “in all things, great and small,… the beauty of Divine expression.” Notice when you’re judging and choose to praise instead. When someone isn’t behaving the way you wish they were, lovingly note when they are. Let go of what isn’t serving you. Embrace that which is.
Till next time,
“Please be kind to everyone you meet, for we all have our hidden sorrows.”
~Tzaddi (aka, Dr. Pam Young, PHD)
[This article was posted previously on August 11, 2011. I am posting it again because we all need to be reminded that whatever we think about, we will create more of the same.]