Whenever I shared some difficult experience with my brother, he would say “let it go” as if it were a simple thing to do. But “letting go” has never been easy for me. I was twelve when my father died, and I mourned that loss until I graduated from college with my Master’s degree in History.
The Smithsonian had offered me a research position and my mother drove me there from Texas for the interview to learn where I would be working and what the job entailed. As a claustrophobic, I couldn’t see myself working in this tiny office at the top of what felt like a tower in King Arthur’s castle. I thanked them for the offer, and we went to New Jersey where my stepfather’s sister lived. It was there that mother found me in a closet, weeping and screaming, “Daddy!” as if I were still a little girl. I was twenty-two years old.
When I took an unpaid leave of absence from being a professor at a small college in Colorado to live with one of my former college students in California, she had quit smoking; I had not. Her rule was: no smoking in the house or the garage. No problem. I took my cup of coffee and cigarettes to my car in the carport and chatted with my Daddy. I was forty-three.
It wasn’t until I had a session with a healer in Pagosa Springs that I realized one of the main reasons we need to let go. She did not ask why I was there; she would not let me say anything. In moments, she said, “Your attachment to your father is keeping him from moving on.” Holy Moses! I was seventy-two at that time and knew I had let him go many years before then. But she was right in sensing that I was “holding on”, but it was to someone else, not my father.
If you read my series, “The Irony of Life”, you know I have been holding onto my life in Colorado for going on eleven months, despite my morning mantra, “This is where I live now…” But this morning (February 26, 2021), something happened to encourage me to let it go. I read the Canier Daily Horoscope for Pisces:
“The Full Moon promises that, if you can courageously let go of a regret, a more optimistic future awaits. This weekend’s Full ‘Snow’ Moon brings with it an abundance of energy which, if used correctly, can transform your life.”
I believe what he says could be true for me. And I will continue doing Ho’oponopono to forgive myself for all my mistakes and regrets so that “letting go” becomes easier:
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
As Molly Beauchemin explains, “With regular practice, reciting these four simple phrases helps develop self-love and self-esteem at the times when we need it most. In this way, it’s both a lullaby to the self and a guaranteed insightful way to approach forgiving other people.”*
What about you?
Are you holding onto something in the past that keeps you from being in The Present Moment?
- The Irony of Life, Part 19: Letting Go
- Bless You, Joe Vitale!
- “Hands-off Healing”: Ho’oponopono
- “Understanding True Forgiveness” by Molly Beauchemin
Till next time, “Please be kind to everyone you meet, for we all have our hidden sorrows.” ~Tzadd