[These excerpts are from CYCLING in the CITY — How I Got My Confidence Back, Book 2 in the Burnout to Bliss series. Book 2 is about a first step in recovery after intense burnout. (For that story, please see Book 1, BURNOUT — How a Desert Lizard Restored My Faith.)
Book 2, CYCLING in the CITY, was designed to be a guide for anyone wanting to make any kind of change in her life. “Part One: Cycling in the City” is my story, sharing the process of making a huge personal change — healing myself and reclaiming my confidence and self-esteem. “Part Two: Thoughts About Making Changes” explains why making change is so difficult; it addresses the different kinds of changes we make, the mental games we play, and the essential key for success. The book is $1.99 for a limited time. Buy it here. If you want a free copy to review, please contact Choosy Bookworm HERE.}
Excerpt 20, from Part Two, CYCLING in the CITY:
The easiest way is to look in the mirror each day and say, “I love you!”
You can also use those three words as a mantra and say them first thing in the morning, while you’re walking or doing some other exercise, and right before you go to sleep. Like affirmations, programming your subconscious with love is most effective at those times.
But loving yourself also means treating yourself as if you did! That means speaking with kind words when you talk to yourself. It means taking care of your body and your surroundings. It means accepting responsibility for your experience. It means acting as if you do, in fact, love yourself – until you do.
And it means forgiving yourself for past mistakes. My mantra for that when I struggled to love myself was this:
“I did the best I could with the resources, information, and guidance I had. And I learned from it.”
You might also consider trying Ho’oponopono, the technique used by Hawaiian psychologist Ihaleakala Hew Len, Ph.D., who cured a clinic of criminal patients without seeing them in therapy.
I believe the power of Ho’oponopono lies in the realization that We Are All One – and that whatever we experience outside ourselves is merely a projection of what’s going on inside our minds.*
Similarly, in his now famous article, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len stated his view like this: “To be an effective problem solver, the therapist must be willing to be 100% responsible for having created the problem situation; that is, he must be willing to see that the source of the problem are erroneous thoughts within him, not within the client” (“Self I-Dentity Through Ho’oponopono, Being 100% Responsible For the Problems of My Clients” written with Charles Brown).*
It might be fun trying the technique by repeating the four statements whenever you feel connected with Source.
If you’re not sure what “connected with Source” means, then try a little Breathwork first.
You could breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, deeply and slowly, for however long it takes to feel relaxed and focused on All That Is, however you understand that mystical term.
Or you could do alternate nostril breathing. Just close one side of your nose with your thumb to breathe in, and then close the other nostril with your fingers to breathe out. Take the next breath on the same side you exhaled, with the other nostril closed by your fingers, then close the nostril you breathed in with using your thumb and exhale out the other nostril. Repeat until you feel relaxed and connected.
Or, you could just take 10 deep breaths slowly in and out.
Then repeat the four statements:
- I’m sorry.
- Please forgive me.
- Thank you.
- I love you.
To whom are you saying this? To yourself, a person who is part of ALL THAT IS!
Think about it.
I’d like to end this section with a little passage from a favorite book, You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams and John-Roger.
They quote Ron and Mary Hulnick, who express what this “loving yourself” stuff means to them:
Because I am the only person I will have a relationship with all my life, I choose:
To love myself the way I am now
To always acknowledge that I am enough just the way I am
To love, honor and cherish myself
To be my own best friend
To be the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with
To always take care of myself so that I can take care of others
To always grow, develop and share my love and life (p. 596).
McWilliams and John-Roger put it like this: “Who is there to love in your life? Ultimately, you. As the song states, ‘Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all’” (p. 597).
_____________ (end of Part Two, CYCLING in the CITY ______________
*To learn more about Ho’oponopono, consider these sources:
- YouTube videos: I recommend starting with this one.
- Books: Zero Limits by Joe Vitale & Ihaleakala Hew Len, Ph.D.
- Workshops as student: FREE online
- Workshops to be certified to teach Ho’oponopono: S.I.T.H. classes
If you want a free copy to review, please contact Choosy Bookworm HERE.
Burnout to Bliss Series
This might be the last excerpt, but if you’re following the Burnout to Bliss series, you know that wasn’t the end of the story which continues in Book 3, currently in progress. It isn’t like either Book 1, BURNOUT, or Book 2, CYCLING in the CITY.
With Book 1, I wanted the reader to feel what I had felt in that time — a kind of madness that included psychotic visions which might occur even while I was teaching — and the chaos of doing my job while trying to understand what was happening through the lens of a spiritual seeker. I tried to achieve that by grouping events by topic rather than writing the entire book as a timeline story of this happened, then this, and then this.
In Book 2, I wanted to share the experience of “loss of self” — like not being able to do even familiar things like riding a bicycle after extreme burnout — and how I fought back, how I got my self back. That led to wanting to show others how they could make whatever change they wanted to make, so it ended up being written in two parts.
Book 3 is a full-length book, currently sitting at 70,500 words. It’s a tale of trusting God (or the Universe if you prefer), of letting go and trusting that life is good and safe and that all my needs will be met even before I realize I have them. It is the final story of an awakening experience, my two-year journey with one modest paycheck and no plans that was launched with BURNOUT.
The first getaway from that extreme situation was to a “sanctuary” in California as related in Book 2, CYCLING in the CITY. That getaway apparently was simply to heal myself enough to take the next step.
The real story of the ego surrendering control began when that sanctuary was no longer available and I became like The Fool (Tarot card), jumping off a cliff with a tiny knapsack and a little dog for company…
Want to be with the first to know when Book 3 is available?
Click the BURNOUT TO BLISS tab on the far right at the top of the page and scroll down, and then follow the directions OR simply click the link below:
Rethinking The Law of Attraction is the book mentioned in the talk at the church. The eBook is available in Kindle format and is currently listed for $2.99 (or free if you bought the paperback!)
Coming up Next Week:
Having just experienced (June 26, 2017) another “aha!” or Cosmic Thump, or awakening, I want to share that experience because it illuminates not only the challenging journey of a spiritual seeker, but also the expansion of awareness. It’s a personal story about overcoming my resistance to the premise that we create our reality — all of it! Not just interactions with people issues. That we control not only our response to something “out there” that happened to us, but ALL of it! Whew! Tough concept to swallow for a former Southern Baptist — that individuals are that powerful! But so exciting once the premise is embraced! Stay tuned…
Till next time, please be kind to everyone you meet, for we all have our hidden sorrows. ~Tzaddi