How to Stay Positive — No Matter What!

People from different quarters are talking about the need to stay positive, and whether you’re tying to “stay in alignment with that which you wish to create,” or if you just want to avoid the magnetic attraction of someone as bummed out or pissed off as you are, it makes sense to practice staying happy — no matter what.

My introduction to the Law of Attraction came in an article in a magazine I picked up in Sedona, Arizona thirty years ago. The author quoted Greg Braden a lot and talked about “mirrors” — that what we see and experience in our environment is actually a physical representation of what’s going on repeatedly inside our heads. Essentially, you get whatever you think about most of the time.

You Get To Choose Your Experience!

So if you’re bummed out all the time, you’ll attract more people, events, and circumstances to help you feel bummed out even more. If you’re angry and frustrated most of the time, the universe will cheerfully bring you more people, situations and circumstances to keep you feeling angry and frustrated because that seems to be what you prefer. It follows that if you’re feeling happy most of the time, the universe will jump right on that and bring you more people, events and circumstances to help you keep feeling happy.

Not convinced? Why? Because you did a carefully designed research study, watched your thoughts for a significant period of time and noted all people, events, consequences that “coincidentally” occurred during that specified period of time? Well, it might sound ridiculous, but guess what? I did! And I’m not nearly finished yet. I’ve been studying this “Law” for some time now, and my early most tentative conclusion is this:

I attract people, events, circumstances that correspond to whatever vibe I’m, whatever vibe I’m transmitting most of the time! (The vibe is the consistent feeling mode I’ve chosen by what I think, say, or do.)

In my last post I mentioned a rear-ender that happened one Sunday afternoon when a young gal followed too closely and wasn’t able to stop when all the traffic stopped suddenly in front of me and I responded, duh, by stopping. She plowed into my little Honda Civic with enough force to bend the frame. I remember thinking, “Great. Like I don’t have enough hassles already. Now I get to deal with this.”

What had been going on before the accident? Major hassles associated with a book I’d written. I had been on edge and whining about my difficulties to anyone who’d listen — my cats, my journal, a fellow writer, and this blog. Aha! Focusing on hassle begets more hassle.

“But it was hard!” You say. “It was unknown territory for you and learning things that are so totally not in your comfort zone is harder than ever at your age.” Yep. All true. But when it happens again, and I’m certain it will, I’ll be focusing on the joy of learning something new and feeling so happy that, like Edison, I discovered yet another one of the “ten thousand ways it doesn’t work” instead of whining about it Get it? No matter what, I’m opting for “stay positive,” because what I’ve learned about this Law so far is it’s not worth taking a chance.

Maintain a positive vibe!

So how does one maintain a positive vibe — “stay positive no matter what?”  Start with your physiology, because wherever you are, your body is.  Stand up straight, shoulders back, eyes forward, and let those lips form a smile every chance you get. That alone will make a difference. Make a laughing sound. See how many different ways you can laugh. When you go somewhere, even if it’s only a walk around the block, look at everyone you encounter and give them your best smile.

When you’re driving, practice saying “Thank you”–especially for anything that appears on face value to be “that which you do not want,” and find a reason you do.  Like when the light changes to red just as you approach the intersection, say thanks for an opportunity to breathe deeply and practice saying thanks. Whip out your mental list of things to feel grateful for and feel the gratitude. Notice how you feel.

Things to Feel Grateful For

Start a little notebook of memories that bring you instant joy and anytime you feel bummed out or angry, read something in the notebook. Practice calling up a “feel-good” on a moment’s notice by practicing all day long. You can do this anytime, like when you’re waiting in a line in the post office or grocery store. “Oh boy! Another opportunity to practice feeling good on the spot!”

What about the one who “done you wrong?” Well… in that moment when it happens, it certainly sucks. Give yourself at least five minutes to wallow or rant, whichever you prefer. Then switch your attention to something that feels good.  Why?  Because the Law works on everything. Or are you wanting to attract a string of lousy relationships who’ll do you wrong over and over and over again?  Get it? Be thankful for whatever you shared, then say “adios” and let it go. Throw your shoulders back, put a smile on your face, and get ready for the next great adventure.

Here’s the thing. We cannot see everything in our future. We only have a tiny field of vision for what’s possible. In this moment, it might feel like he’s the one, the only one, and that you’ll die without him. But the truth is that you can’t see everything that’s out there.  You don’t know who else is coming along. And you certainly don’t know what that relationship would be like down the road. Trust me. I’ve got this.

I know this is true because I’m doing this study, you see, and because I keep journals, and because I’m old enough to have a tiny bit more backwards vision. I can totally see what actually happened in the past and what’s happening now, and the one who broke my heart in high school is now a bald, fat ugly dude. Had I know then what I know now, I wouldn’t have wasted 2 nanoseconds, much less the rest of my senior year, grieving the loss of that relationship. Oops. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah…

Keep your vibe up by focusing on what you want.

With that break-up you are now available for an even better relationship. With that job terminated, that business gone bust, that car wrecked, this terrible accident, illness, loss of fortune… something wonderful is coming, but you’ll be too blind to see it if you’re focusing on that thing you don’t want. So what if you failed in one line of work? There’s another opportunity just waiting for you to discover it. And all you have to do is release that which isn’t working for you and embrace that which is: in short, keep your vibe up by focusing on what you want. At the very least, feel better.

What if you’re bummed or angry most of the time? Or worse, have given up altogether? It’s still possible to change. Start by working with your body to feel better — eat the best food you can, avoid sugar (blues) exercise every day to release endorphins, and breathe. Feel your connection with everyone on the planet simply by breathing…

Notice when you’re judging and decide to praise instead. Instead of harping on what you don’t like about a relationship, consciously look instead for things to like, to appreciate, to feel good about.Take the time to discover “in all things, great and small, the beauty of Divine expression.” When someone isn’t behaving the way you wish they were, lovingly note when they are. Let go of what isn’t serving you. Embrace that which is.

We can choose to feel happy or not. What are you choosing?

The bottom line is simple.  In each moment, we are all-powerful because we get to decide how we’ll feel. We can choose to feel happy or not. Every time we choose, we’re setting ourselves up for more of the same by creating little grooves in our brains and by transmitting to the world — even through steel doors and concrete walls! — what it is we want. It gets easier and easier, out of habit, to feel a certain way. I’m choosing joy, myself. How about you?

Till next time, I’ll be skating through my life’s invitations to choose what I want with a determination to find joy in each and every one. ~Pam

[previously posted here on August 9, 2011. ]