Monthly Archives: December 2011

“Giving,” especially this time of year, has gotten out of control.  I’m old enough to remember etiquette and manners, and my gift to you is this little collection of thoughts about the art of giving.

Take pleasure in selecting your gifts. Savor every quality and enjoy the experience. This is part of your gift in gift-giving.

Consider who you are gifting–their qualities, their preferences. The gift, after all, is for them, right?

When “gifts” become a burden financially.  “Miss Manners suggests your supplying token presents.” Read it here.

A different kind of gift:  reciprocal favors!  “For example, if your work takes you downtown, you should be offering to do errands for your friend that are not on her normal routes. Or you could propose taking her children on evenings or holidays when she might like to get out. Or you could claim that you were washing your car and it was no trouble to do hers at the same time.” (from Miss Manners: click here).

Take out insurance if it’s shipped and you are concerned whether or not they actually received it. Some people seem to have forgotten the civilized behavior of simply acknowledging the gift. And the corollary is:

Let it go….  Do not call the recipient and badger them with questions about when and if they received it, how much they liked it, and by all means, please avoid listing for the recipient all the excellent qualities of your gift if their response doesn’t measure up to your expectations. A gift has no strings attached.

Gift giving is not about you. Gift giving is about the person who is receiving the gift. If you keep that in mind you will find that–though your job of finding the gift might not be easier–it will certainly be more exciting. From Modern Manners Guy: click here. 

Expect nothing in return. A gift, by definition, is “Something bestowed voluntarily and without compensation” (The American Heritage College Dictionary, p.574).

Gift’s, like love, must be freely given to be enjoyed by the recipient.

A gift is not a gift if it has been listed in the debit column of a relationship.

Consider avoiding the whole “gift-giving craziness” of “buying stuff no one wants” and donating to a worthy charity instead–in our family member’s or friend’s name, if you want to share that gift.

Consider “gifting” anonymously, because the absolute greatest pleasure in gifting comes when giver truly has “gifted.”

Great Reminder: “The things that matter most in life are not found in malls.” Alan Gettis

Happy Holidays!  Till next time–most likely next year!–I’ll be SkatingThru them spending quality time with people I care about. How about you?